The Grain Wars
Once upon a time, Pepperidge Farm decided it would be a good thing to market a special kind of bread. Their bread contained seven, yes seven, different grains. Thus, the 7-Grain bread was born.
Not to be outdone, Anut Haddie said to herself, "We'll show those snooty Pepperidge Farm people how Aunt Haddie makes her bread". Aunt Haddie spent months and monthspouring poring over her recipe, and then one day, she landed upon a then unheard of Nine Grain Bread!
When Pepperidge Farm heard about this new 9-grain bread, they immediately began work on a new species of bread. They had made up their minds to push the grain to the limit.
Little did they know that in a short while, both they and Aunt Haddie would be outdone. For when everyone else was slaving over a new higher grain bread recipe, Brownberry Farms slipped in the back door and shocked the world with an incredible TWELVE GRAIN BREAD!!!!
For many years, Brownberry Farms reigned supreme as the Grain King. Their twelve grain bread was considered unbeatable. Farmers would sit around the country stores and say "Well, I tell ya, back in my day, we had 1 grain bread. And we llllliked it! Now they got all this 7 grain and 9 grain. Heck, rumor has it they even got 12 grain! Can you believe it, twelve grains. Whew. They ain't never gonna need any more than that!"
But Pepperidge Farm would not accept defeat. At a press conference, the CEO let slip that they had plans for a new bread that would shatter all previous records. Then, finally, one day their engineers and scientists were successful in their efforts. After millions of dollars in research and development, they cranked it all the way up to FIFTEEN GRAIN BREAD!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Not to be outdone, Anut Haddie said to herself, "We'll show those snooty Pepperidge Farm people how Aunt Haddie makes her bread". Aunt Haddie spent months and months
When Pepperidge Farm heard about this new 9-grain bread, they immediately began work on a new species of bread. They had made up their minds to push the grain to the limit.
Little did they know that in a short while, both they and Aunt Haddie would be outdone. For when everyone else was slaving over a new higher grain bread recipe, Brownberry Farms slipped in the back door and shocked the world with an incredible TWELVE GRAIN BREAD!!!!
For many years, Brownberry Farms reigned supreme as the Grain King. Their twelve grain bread was considered unbeatable. Farmers would sit around the country stores and say "Well, I tell ya, back in my day, we had 1 grain bread. And we llllliked it! Now they got all this 7 grain and 9 grain. Heck, rumor has it they even got 12 grain! Can you believe it, twelve grains. Whew. They ain't never gonna need any more than that!"
But Pepperidge Farm would not accept defeat. At a press conference, the CEO let slip that they had plans for a new bread that would shatter all previous records. Then, finally, one day their engineers and scientists were successful in their efforts. After millions of dollars in research and development, they cranked it all the way up to FIFTEEN GRAIN BREAD!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
posted by jigawatt at 11:04:00 PM
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